Enter my first fully voice to text blog-entry, otherwise known as “let me ramble.” We’ll see how this goes…

I find myself sitting here on the couch in the living room, in the light of the Christmas tree in the otherwise dark, room, listening to the sounds of the boys playing video games downstairs. And I guess it got me thinking as I stared at the twinkling lights and shiny ornaments… Am I feeling jolly yet?

The answer is, of course, no. I’m not sure I even remember what it feels like to feel jolly. This is not new, anyone who has read this blog can attest to that. Do I feel sad? No. But I guess I feel like there’s something more than what I feel on a regular basis. Maybe I’m fooling myself. It’s hard to say. I just wish I felt a little bit more Christmasy. There is such a long slog of winter after the holiday season is over that I just wish I could be enjoying these few weeks more than I seem to be. But I’m pretty sure that’s pretty common, right? I don’t think that this feeling of “not enoughness” is exclusive to me.

In many ways I appreciate Facebook memories because I get to see photos and snapshots and times that I may have otherwise forgotten until they pop up. But especially at this time of year some of them can be really hard. I see posts from when I felt so much more in the spirit, and was baking and wrapping and making things and just generally doing what I wish I felt like doing now. What happened? If you know the answer let me know because I sure as hell don’t.

At least the Christmas shopping, if not the Christmas wrapping, is done. Yay, right?