Everyone loves candy.

Maybe you like chocolate.

Or maybe you like gummies.

Or maybe you like hard candies.

Or maybe you like them all.

Who doesn’t love candy?

You know what else people like? Free things.

You know, say if all you had to do to get candy was to ask for it and have people giving it away to you for free… I mean who would not take advantage of that?

Who indeed, you ask. Well I have an answer – a pouting vampire, that’s who.

The boy child went as Spike from Buffy for Halloween last night. 100% his idea, no prompting. He’s been driving me nuts as to when he gets to wear his costume. The boy child also loves candy, because see previous statements about everyone liking candy and then multiply that by 1,000 because – 8 year old child.

When it became clear the rain was going to hold off we ended up driving down to some friends’ neighborhood at the last minute because they have a ton of houses handing out a ton of candy. While I held back to hand out candy with my friends, Spike and his thrall, Daddy, headed out with much excitement.

Twenty minutes later a pouting vampire stomped up the porch huffing. Did he get in trouble? Did he get hurt? No.

HE WAS BORED.

These words do no compute. There is candy. There are costumes. There are cool decorations everywhere. There are hundreds of kids roaming the streets of this neighborhood.

“But it’s just walking around.”

“Yes, walking around to get CANDY.”

“Walking is boring!”

“Candy is not boring.”

“I don’t care about candy.”

“Since WHEN???????”

<grumble grumble roll eyes>

Okay, maybe he just needs a break. About 10 minutes later I ask if he’s ready to head out again.

<whine whine boring whine walking whine why can’t I play with Daddy’s phone whine whine my costume isn’t cool whine whine whine whine boring whine I don’t know what I want whine whine harrumph>

At this point of the evening the only additional whine I can stand is the one spelled W-I-N-E.

So we leave. This creates even more whining and angry muttering under the breath.

<time passes>

“We’re almost home and there is still time to go out for a little bit. If you go home and put on one of your other costumes would you want to go back out for a bit?”

“No. There’s no time. I missed it.”

“There will time -“

“No there wooooooooooooooon’t!”

“Ooooo-kie.”

<closer to home>

“So I can change my costume?”

“Yes.”

“Okay I want to do more trick or treating.”

“Sounds good.”

<pulling into our neighborhood>

“There’s no one out trick or treating.” whine whine whine “Nevermind I don’t want to go out!”

<deep breathes>

We pull up to the house and our next door neighbors are arriving right about the same time.

“Eli!”

“Jude!”

“Do you want to go trick or treating with me, Eli?”

“Yes!”

So the night ends on a good note, right? Halloween has been saved, right?

Sucker.

Bloodsucker to be precise. As while the last of the T&T went well, there was still the whole needing to wash off all the vampire makeup and hairspray. YOU WOULD HAVE THOUGHT HE WAS BEING KILLED, not taking a shower.

I have to say, the thought did cross my mind.

************************************************************************

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