Hello all. Long time no post.

It’s the new year so I thought I ought to start it off right with a post. Like, a recommitment to trying to write more in the new year. Thing is, I have no idea what I want to talk about, so this will probably be a mishmosh of rambling. I think maybe I’ll just highlight some things from the last few months since I last posted.

So Fall is a blur. I basically feel like I lost the months of November and December. I was away for a week, then Dave got walking pneumonia and was fairly sick for multiple weeks.

Then we went away for a weekend for our anniversary. It was lovely, but we hadn’t even caught our breathe from him being sick (honestly he still wasn’t feeling great), so it felt a bit rushed.

Three days later – BOOM, Thanksgiving in another state. My mom was sick the entire time so it was hardly an enjoyable four days away. More illness…. on top of Dave still not feeling 100%.

We got back and it was immediately time to get up the tree and outside decorations because three days later Dave left for Brazil for work. What was already supposed to be an agonizing 10 day trip turned into a very last minute 14 day trip.

I’m not gonna lie folks, I was a BASKET CASE. I hate, hate, hate when Dave is away, but usually it’s only 6, maybe 7, days away. Ten may not seem that much more, but it felt like eternity. And then to have 4 extra days tacked on the day before he was supposed to come home? The ultimate form of cruelty. I’d already had several panic attacks, and those last few days are a blur of anxiety and depression.

Oh, and let’s not forget that shit always goes wrong when Dave is away. First my mom was in the hospital for three days. Then my dog got stoned. Yes, you read that right. A friend came over to hang out after I got the bad news about Dave’s extended trip, and brought homemade edibles to package up for Christmas gifts. He put them on the dining room table, but that didn’t stop my intrepid Daisy from getting into them. One (thankfully not chocolate) cookie later – stoned off her rocker dog. In retrospect it’s pretty funny, but at the time I was completely freaked out she wasn’t going to be okay.

So Dave arrives home late on Wednesday night. On Friday we leave for Pittsburgh for 5 days, with a return home on Christmas Eve. It was really a lovely trip. I got to see all my family, share a lovely dinner and gift exchange with them, and have many good conversations with people. But there were some revelations that came out of those conversations that were less than ideal and made me feel kind of bad. Simultaneously, I got a very deep and meaningful gift from my dad which meant a lot to me. Overall it was a great trip, but it was difficult that it was so soon after Dave got home.

Next day and boom it’s Christmas and spending time with my Maryland family. We did get 3 days of downtime after that, though it didn’t feel like it because most of it was just catching our breath in preparation for another trip.

On day four we left for New Jersey to spend time with Dave’s family for 4 days. Again, lovely trip. We had a great time, a very fun New Year’s, but it all just started to feel overwhelming.

We came home on New Year’s Day and now it’s the middle of the night on New Year’s Day/ January 2nd and here I am awake, go figure. I guess some things never change. And now I’m feeling a little bit of that depression that, after so much time and energy and excitement for the holidays, that everything is already done. Don’t get me wrong, I NEED the downtime after so much stress for 2 weeks, immediately followed by so much activity for 2 weeks, but it still always feels a little bit like a letdown.

And so there we are. I do have things to look forward to in January and February and I’m trying to focus on that rather than feel bad that the holidays are over. What about you all? How are your holidays? How are you coping with the post holiday bummers?