I went to bed last night at almost midnight with a pit of apprehension in my stomach. I woke up at 4am to be slapped in the face with the greatest of all my fears coming true. Another four years of staring into the abyss and wondering what fresh hell awaits us.
I couldn’t go back to sleep, I was too upset and unsettled and shocked and overwhelmed. Dave started texting me around 7am and that conversation started the flood gates. I cried from 7 to about 9, while talking to Dave and wishing like hell I wasn’t 5 hours away from him right at this moment. I was absolutely on the verge of a panic attack and I really needed him with me. My timing for this trip was not well thought out.
And the presidential election COMBINED with the GOP getting the majority in the Senate….. I am UTTERLY TERRIFIED of what these next few years hold for the many people I know and love. And all those people who STUPIDLY thought this fascist, misogynistic, narcissistic, self-absorbed man child had their best interest at heart – boy do they have a rude awakening coming. He doesn’t give a shit about you because you have no money and no influence. He duped you into getting him elected and now he doesn’t need you anymore, so bye-bye, so long, go fuck yourself.
I had hoped and prayed we wouldn’t wake up in a Dystopia today, but it didn’t work out that way. Best all we can do is hold onto each other tight and do all we can to get through to the other side in one piece. For those living in fear and despair and depression and anger and betrayal…. I feel you, and I’m with you. I got you, you got me. We’re gonna figure this shit out.
I hate that my only comfort comes from “at least I live in Maryland”. But with a yes-man Senate and House, I’m not even sure that will keep us safe.
Not sure if living in NY State will save us either. I am just devastated over this election and what the next four years will entail. And even beyond those years as any damage done will be far reaching and will take time to overcome. I am angry that decisions will affect those that need the most protection, rights and freedoms of those populations will be removed. Whether individual state protections will help or not is yet to be seen. (see NY State Proposition 1 that puts into the state constitution protections against discrimination based on race, color, ethnicity, national origin, age, disability, creed [or], religion, or sex, including sexual orientation, gender identity, gender expression, pregnancy, pregnancy outcomes, and reproductive healthcare and autonomy.). This is going to be a clusterfuk for the economy and foreign relations. I just don’t know if any of us can live through the next four years. I feel like crying and curling up in a ball every single day, which will only get worse once the date for exchange of power comes. Sending you love and hugs. Know you are not alone. Message me anytime.