Having pets is the greatest joy, and most horrible pain of your life.
I couldn’t image life without our furbabies. They are a complete pain in the ass sometimes, but they have such awesome little personalities, each totally different. Interacting with them, and having them interact with me, is such a serotonin boost (and boy can I use those.)
But then there’s the awful, dreadful, inevitable fact that their lives are so much shorter than ours. I mean, even assuming you have a 100% healthy pet, you’re still going to lose them far sooner than you will ever be ready for. Tikka lived until about 18 (!) and we still weren’t ready when it was her time to go.
But Tikka and her excess longevity aside, we really have had some bad luck…
Niski died at 4, which to be fair, was 3 years longer than they thought he’d live what with all his health issues. Doesn’t matter. Losing him so soon was awful.
Theo died at 7. That one is particularly devastating because it didn’t need to happen. If only the AC hadn’t died while we were at work, if only we’d come home earlier, if only the weather had been cooler……… So many what ifs. He was such a great dog, and losing him in that way was very, very difficult.
Oliver. Anyone who has ever had a pug DREADS hearing the diagnosis “PDE.” There’s nothing worse in the health world for puggies. To have to him die at just 3 was gut wrenching.
And now poor Alton. He’s a rescue so we don’t know his exact age, but it isn’t more than 10 or 11, which is youngish for a cat. But here we are. He’s terribly sick (cancer, you fucker) and not going to get better.
But losing them is only the tough part. The HARD part is when you have to make the decision how it ends. Niski deteriorated in a single night and died in my arms. Tikka died quietly at home after a slow decline. Theo died in a senseless way, but at least he was home. But Lucifer, and Taddy, and Imee, and Oliver, and now maybe Alton…….. Those were decisions we had to make.
And the thing you find yourself asking, over and over, is – when is it time? For Alton, it’s a hard call. He’s basically blind now, but cats and dogs live full lives blind. So that’s not enough of a problem. He still finds the litter box, he still finds food and water (and still loves to eat)… He also still loves attention – scritches are the best. He sleeps a lot, but honestly, cats sleep a lot in general. He doesn’t seem to be in any pain or discomfort, so…?
So at what point do we decide his quality of life is no longer what it needs to be? If he starts having seizures, which they say is possible, then it will be a little easier. If he stops eating, then it will be easier (that means he’s saying he’s ready to go.) But is there something else we should be considering? Who knows.
So I both love and hate having pets. Why can’t they live forever?
(Sleepy Alton covering his otherwise cold nose)
We are going through this too and it’s going to kill me. She has had three surgeries in the same spot and another mass cell tumor on her leg. We knew it was a possibility that once the big tumor was removed that we could be unleashing this insidious beast that is now going to consume her
Would we do this now that we have knowledge how ravaging this would be. Yes. She had about a five day stretch with surgery #2 where she looked horrible and the cavity of where the tumor was, bypassed the drain in place. She was gorped out on Gabapentin for two weeks. I hated it for her (I have taken gabapentin and it sucks). She proudly wore her tshirts (lined with sanitary napkins to absorb blood) for three weeks and we really couldn’t keep her quiet. She’s a boxer…she has always lived up to boxers being high energy, goof balls. Maybe we were selfish having her undergo the big surgeries but she is now proving she was going to stay with us for an additional two years. The last surgery in March shows it has invaded her chest wall. She has never shown us that this was painful although it might be slowing her down. She is 11 years old…. she’s earned that right.
I look at her and I know that part of my heart will die with her. She has been with me through some really dark days. I don’t know what I am going to do without her. And John, it will be really tough on him. His partner every a.m. at 5 and then again at 3:15. She gets to run off leash in the daylight…and she continues to keep running. This tumor grows every day…I hate it!!!
We cancelled our long awaited trip to NY for Thanksgiving. It would be 8 days of her trying to keep up with the others at doggie camp which she absolutely loves. I was afraid she would burn more calories and lose more weight. Then I felt stupid for making an issue of it. A dog respiratory illness has been sweeping NC, so in hindsight, we did the right thing. Don’t know if her immune system would be adequate to fight it.
She’s certainly not our first animal that we had to make the gut wrenching decision about. Her predessor, Reese, had pancreatic cancer. I could see it in her eyes one day almost asking me to do something. How I took her, by myself, I still don’t understand. I just knew. Zoey has never really shown us any signs. She’s still the crazy girl she’s always been just a bit slower. She jumps in Daddy’s chair every day at 5 a.m. and flips on her back looking upside down at him. My beautiful goofball ❤️. Why can’t they travel with us until we cross our rainbow bridge. Love to you and your family ❤️