Another, not Toad per se, but at least Glen Phillips so close enough right (?), song reference for a blog title. I am on a roll. 😁😴

Hello again, my friends. I report to you from 3:00 in the morning. My sleep since leaving work has been more wonky than usual. Or actually, maybe not, I just think I’ve accepted it more.

I think I have always woken up in the middle of the night wide awake. But when I have woken up in the middle of the night and know I have to be up in just a few hours I fight it and try and roll over and go back to sleep. It’s mostly unsuccessful, honestly. I just toss and turn for a few hours, maybe catching a couple of minutes sleep here and there. But at this point? If I wake up feeling wide awake I just get up.

So this morning’s wake up call came at 2:00 a.m. I’ve just been noodling on my phone since then, but felt compelled to come here. To say what? I guess we are going to figure that out as we go.

So I have made it to week two. This is where I promised I would start to establish some structure. The best I’ve done with that is that I have completed an, albeit small, home project each day. I simultaneously feel like this isn’t enough while feeling like this is stuff that hasn’t happened for years and I’m finally making it happen. That’s something to be celebrated, right? Even if most of the time I’m still laying on the couch?

Dave keeps saying to take it slow. He keeps telling me that I’ve overdone it for so long that I need to allow myself some time to not do anything. But I feel guilty. And he’s an enabler, lol. Isn’t one week of not doing anything enough? I feel like it should be, so now I feel like I have to accomplish Things with a capital T.

I found myself thinking that at the very least I need to be writing. And I got down on myself about the fact that I haven’t done that. Except this is my third blog post in a week and a half. I was writing a blog post every 6 to 9 months prior to this. This is still writing, right? I think it is. Maybe that’s wishful thinking, but I’m going to go with it.

I read multiple blogs of people that I follow, and it’s very mundane. “I ate this today, and my child has a cold”, or “I went shopping today and bought this”… I enjoy these blogs yet I expect more of myself in terms of content. I’m supposed to have something meaningful to say if I bother to say anything at all. But maybe saying anything at all is the point. You guys be the judge. Make comments here, or on the Facebook and Twitter posts of the blog and tell me what you think. Should I just shut up or am I doing the right thing?