So slowly, ever so slowly, life is returning to more of a semblance of pre-Covid “normal.” We’ve gone to the store (masked of course). We’ve ventured into restaurants. We went on vacation (albeit a very low key not-around-a-lot-of-people vacation). And all of that is great.

Unfortunately the other part of life going back to “normal” is a return to work in the office after about 8 months of working almost exclusively at home. I spent the early pandemic in the office mostly, but around November for a couple of different reasons I switched to from-home. And I got used to it. REALLY used to it. If there has ever been anything in my life that has shown me how deeply introverted I am, it has been the experience of working from home. I LOVE the people I work with, it’s a really great group, but I realized that I still felt exhausted at the end of every day in the office, even if it wasn’t busy. Just the presence of people around me is clearly enough to sap me. And at home – I don’t have that. It’s quiet and un-peopley and wonderful. Plus it was also full of my Davie (who does not count as a “people) who was also working from home. I’ve gotten to spend so much more time with him these past 8 months, even if we were working we were still right there next to each other and that was so awesome and comforting. It made me realize how much of our lives with our families is spent NOT with our families. To have the ability to always be together, to share a meal every day, was also wonderful.

But starting yesterday I’m back in the office 3 days a week (for now), and after just two days I am spent. Mentally and emotionally spent. And nothing bad has happened. And it has been great to see everyone again. And I love my little office space with all my knickknacks and pictures and more room to work than I have at home. But regardless, I’m so tired and it is only day 2. I get the feeling it will get a little better – I think I just need to build some stamina back up. After all, it has been 8 months and that is a really long time. But I worry that it won’t get completely better because I am not sure it can. I don’t think working in the office will ever be the easier, the healthier thing for me. I’ve actually noticed that I have been sick a lot less in this last 8 months than I normally am. And I am sure a large part of it is a limited exposure to people and all their germs, but I also think it has a lot to do with my reduced stress levels from being at home all the time.

But here we are – I don’t really get a choice in the matter. Things have to go back to “normal.” Problem is I think “normal” sucked and I only now know just how true that is. And in this case knowing may be worse that not knowing. I know what “good” looks like and instead I am stuck with “normal.” So I’m just trying to take it day by day. I am clinging to the reminder that I can still work from home part of the time and I have those days to look forward to and to recharge my batteries. I can look forward to the quiet, and to lunch with my honey, and to sleeping in because I don’t have to commute, and to working in my PJs. Hopefully that will be enough to keep me from completely burning out in the long run.