I’m not an Infectious Disease doctor, or a Virologist, or a Zombie-fiction author, yet I have made the discovery of the century — despite everything previously believed to be true, it turns out depression is contagious. I am sure you are scoffing. But then all geniuses and their great discoveries were mocked in the beginning. So let me present to you my “scientific” study.
No Shit Ya’ll: Depression Be Contagious
T. Panek. The Tangent Girl Volumes. 2018.
Introduction
Much of the knowledge acquired throughout human history has been revealed through purposeful and rigorous study. Yet some of the most crucial information in our world today has been discovered unintentionally – x-rays, penicillin… post-it notes. The observation of the infectious nature of depression was made through the common, everyday interactions between a husband and his bat-shit crazy wife.
Methods
The sample size of this hypothesis-generating study was one marital couple. The husband had no history of depression, anxiety, or other mental health issues. He was the epitome of “nothing gets to him, even stuff that probably should;” he was the duck and life was his water. The wife had a decades-long history of depression and anxiety which she refused to acknowledge even to herself, let alone seek any treatment for because she is an idiot. Thirteen months of data was collected though direct observations of this married couple post-hospitalization of the wife for a suicide attempt. The variables of the study were the diagnosis and acceptance of the mental health issues of the wife and the presence of depression symptoms by the husband pre-post the wife’s freaking breakdown and subsequent stint in the nuthouse.
Results
The husband began exhibiting signs of depression approximately six months after wife’s WTF. Despite attending therapy, the heretofore non-existent depression symptoms continued to worsen. After twelve and one-half months, the husband was forced to seek medical intervention beyond therapy alone. The result of this intervention was the diagnosis of depression and the prescribing of an antidepressant.
Discussion
The presence of depression symptoms in the husband clearly changed pre-post the total mental crash and burn of the wife. The only significant change during these thirteen months was the wife now “suddenly” having depression. It is obvious that the husband contracted the illness from the wife, hence illuminating the contagious nature of the disease.
Limitations
The author of this study being the wife participant inevitably introduces bias into the collection and analysis of the data. The fact that she has horrible depression and anxiety which always leaves her convinced that everything is her fault likely further exacerbates this bias. Basically you can’t trust a damned thing l say here as there is a high probably of this hypothesis being complete bullshit.
But in all seriousness, mental health issues are “contagious” in a way. We often can’t see our own issues until we are suddenly required to monitor others’ illnesses. We don’t know what depression even looks like until we stare in the face of it every day in someone we love. Our contact with them is what reveals our own disease. I know this realistically but I still struggle internally with doubts and guilt. Maybe it’s having to deal with me and all my exhausting nonsense that has made him depressed… I mean who wouldn’t be depressed after a year of this, right??
So I continue my own journey with my own therapist, and the ongoing battle with my asshole brain, to stop blaming myself. Because in truth – if my acknowledging and having to struggle with my own depression in an open, honest, and unavoidable way acted as a mirror so that he could see for the first time what he’d actually been going through for YEARS, then I’m happy be Typhoid Mary.