So I’m back again to bitch about stuff that annoys me. Today:

Personality Traits That Piss Me Off

Mansplaining: Before a bunch of guys start jumping all over my shit for this, I get that women can do this too, and I get that not all guys do it. But there is DEFINETLY a population of guys out there who are so guilty of this they should be forced to wear a sign warning everyone. Just recently, TWO DAYS after getting back from my 8th trip to the Middle East, I had this pompous asshole trying to explain the Middle East to me because he’d traveled around there once and ‘knew” how it ‘was.’ Um, yeah. Piss off dude.

Asking/Not Asking for Advice: We all have those people who will come to us and pour out all of their troubles, ending with – “I don’t know what to do.” But no matter what ideas you offer up, they shoot every one down without even thinking about it because they don’t really want help, they want sympathy. If you just want to vent, I’m cool with that – but say, hey I’m just venting, I’m not looking for ideas. I am happy to get you a bottle of wine, a quart if ice cream, and nod and say “preach on, Brother/Sister!” Otherwise it just makes me have to ‘wash my cat’ every time you start talking about your problems because I don’t want to hear you bitch.

The Lord Helps Those…: Along that same line – the people who bitch about the same things over and over and over but never do anything to try and change things, even though they have options. You can tell they just want their problems to go away without any effort on their part. And hell, we’d all like that, but I would also like a Support Fox. We can’t always get what we want. Now suck it up and do something. I have no interest in hearing you bitch anymore.

And the all-time top of my “I want to punch people in the face” pet peeve: Passive Aggressive People. This can mean a lot of things, and I don’t particularly like any of it, but some versions are just annoying while others make me near-homicidal.

Mildly Annoying: That fact that some people will say things like, “Oh I’ve never been to Zombieland” when they hear you talking to someone else about Zombieland, when what they really mean is “Can I go to Zombieland with you, too?” Or they will say, “Wow those cookies look good” because they are hoping you will offer them one. I only find this annoying because I IGNORE THEM. If you can’t be a grown-up and actually ask me your question, I will not be bothered to acknowledge the unspoken question.

Fairly Damned Irritating: When someone tells you one thing, then turns around and says something completely different to someone else. Like, “No, no it’s totally fine, there is no rush at all. Just send me ‘X’ whenever you get a chance.” Then you’re talking to someone else and they’re like, “What’s up? Why don’t you like Jenny? She said she asked you for ‘X’ but you’ve been ignoring her….”   Not NEARLY as much as I am going to ignore you now, Jenny.

Full on someone-is-going-to-die-but-it-won’t-be-me Fury: When someone pulls out the thinly veiled, patronizing, ignorant-ass insults that they try and sell as “kindness” or “friendly advice” or any other BULLSHIT way of saying – “I am an asshole but I don’t want you to be able to PROVE that I am an asshole, so I will interact with you in a way you KNOW is me being an ASSHOLE, but that I can just explain to others as you ‘misunderstanding me’.”

Those g-damned people can go straight to hell.

There’s a lot more where this came from! Want to read about bunny assassins and loved ones lost and deranged Christmas shoppers and surviving suicide? Please check out the rest of The Tangent Girl Volumes!

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