It’s been over a year since I’ve written anything other than blog posts. I just haven’t felt inspired at all, and I’m the kind of writer that can’t just write for the sake of writing. I have to have an idea for what I’m going to write.

But in the middle of the night a few weeks ago I had an epiphany. I started a story 6 years ago in a very pulpy universe based on the role-playing game Spirit of the Century. I wrote an intro which I hated. It said things that needed to be said but it was so expositionary – no dialogue, no action. It was a boring way to start a book and I knew it wouldn’t work. And I couldn’t figure out how to fix it.

But then I came up with something. And it may still be crap, LOL, but in my own mind’s eye I kind of like it. It provides a different set of background information than the previous intro did. Plus it is chockabock full of action and dialogue. I can take this new material as the actual beginning of the book, and then adjust what I previously wrote to be the follow-up to fill in the rest of the blanks in the setup. Then it’s time for the real story to begin

So here’s my question… If you were picking up a fiction book set in a pulp universe, with lots of action and over the top adventure, would this intro make you want to keep reading? I greatly welcome AS MANY comments as I can get on this post. I’d really like the feedback to know where to go from here. Is this working? If so, why? Is it not working? If so, why?

It’s not long so it won’t take you much of a time investment to read it. I appreciate all of your feedback to come!

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“Woohoo!”

I yelled with excitement as I completed the barrel roll and set my sights on my next target.

“Pepper, don’t get cheeky!” I heard Mac yell from behind me.

I didn’t bother shouting back. Cheeky? I’ll show you cheeky.

I narrowed my eyes and honed in on the space between hangers A and B. The gap was definitely smaller than the wingspan of my little trainer biplane. But that didn’t matter to me.

I flew towards the hangers, but in such a way as to appear that I planned to bank and fly in front of them. I couldn’t have Mac pulling up on me from the controls in the rear, which he would surely do if he knew what I had planned.

At the last minute, too late to make any changes to what was to come next, I course corrected and flew straight at the gap.

“Pepper, no!” I heard the urgency and maybe a little terror in Mac’s voice. But there was nothing either of us could do at this point but go forward.

Ignoring his cries I narrowed my eyes, and just as it looked like our wings would be sheered off by the two hangers, I pulled on the stick. The plane did an abrupt roll and the wings, once level to the ground, tilted at a 45° angle. With just inches to spare we shot through the gap and were out the other side again in just seconds, pulling up to fly back towards the clouds.

“Down, now! Right now,” Mac barked from the back seat, sounding angrier than I’d ever heard him, and I’d certainly made him angry enough times before to know I was really in for it this time.

I brought the plane around and gracefully glided her down the runway, barely bumping on touchdown. I taxied to hanger B and switched off the engines.

“Out! Now!”

Pulling off my helmet and goggles, I tossed my red hair to loosen it from the compacting it got in the helmet. Head held high and a defiant look in my eyes I climbed out of the plane and turned to face Mac, ready for a fight.

He climbed from the plane, rounded on me, throwing his helmet and goggles to the ground. “What in the bloody hell were you thinking? You could have gotten us both killed with your recklessness! You may not care about your life or limb, but I certainly do not have a death wish!”

“I’ve told you before that you don’t have to come up with me anymore,” I fired back. “If you weren’t in the plane you wouldn’t have to worry about it.”

“That’s not the damned point, Pepper, and you know it! I’m responsible for this plane. If anyone knew I was letting you fly it, especially if they find out because you destroyed it and died in the process, my career would be over! Do you understand that? Plus, do you know what it would do to me if you died and it was my fault for letting you go up?”

I felt a little chagrined for a moment. Mac wasn’t wrong there. Sneaking a civilian girl up into the trainer would not only be the end of his career, but probably get him court marshalled. He was risking a lot for me, and I might have taken that for granted. I also took for granted how he’d taken me under his wing and treated me like a daughter. If something happened to me he’d be devastated and he’d never forgive himself.

Then anger shot through me. No, to hell with that. “Well if the RAF didn’t have their head so far up their arse that they won’t let me join and fly just because I am a girl, it wouldn’t be an issue! I’m the best pilot you have here, probably the best pilot in the whole RAF! It’s ridiculous that we have to sneak around like this!”

He ran his hand down his face, and when he pulled it away he looked so tired. “Pepper, we’ve had this argument a million times before. You know I agree with you – it’s why I’m taking such a chance in taking you up. But you and I, we don’t make the rules. It’s 1923, and the Royal Air Force is just not ready for you. I’m not sure they ever will be.”

I wanted to stomp my foot in frustration but I knew that would just appear to confirm my young age, throwing a tantrum like that. I would never do that, let someone view me like a child.

“It’s just crazy, Mac. Girls are just as capable as the men. Why can’t they see that? Did you see what I did up there? No one else here could have pulled that off. I knew what I was doing. And I was incredible damn it!”

I saw Mac’s face soften a little, and he didn’t speak for a moment. Then a little smile played at the corner of his mouth and his eyes lit up with pride. “It was pretty incredible. I didn’t even know that was possible.”

I swelled under the compliment. All I wanted was for him to be proud of me. Well that, and to fly.