Because I Am A Geek

I was so excited (ridiculously, stupid, total SPAZ excited) this week when tuning into my favorite podcast, Terrifyingly Beautiful.

I will often comment on their Facebook page, and a few weeks ago I made some comments about how credit cards, and shopping in general, freak me out. And this week’s podcast topic? SHOPPING! While I wasn’t mentioned by name (by the way, WTF Kevin & David??), I was at least credited as “a listener” in the topic/discussion (which I guess is better than them saying my name and getting it wrong – like calling my Stephanie, which happens all the time. Or Susan.*)

(*Not that I am dissing any Susans out there. It’s a perfectly lovely name! This is TOTALLY related to my husband’s first job. I used to pick him up at work, and the owner’s mom worked the front desk. She would call back – “Dave, Susan’s here!” no matter HOW MANY TIMES I told her my name is Tiffani. Then one day, after like a year of this, one of his co-workers walked by and said, “Hey Tiffani,” and she was like “I thought your name was Susan! Why didn’t you tell me?”… … “It’s a mystery, ma’am.”)

But anyway… the credit card thing. Lemme share with you what I shared with them.

Credit card readers – what the hell? I have one of those chip cards and every freaking place seems to work differently. If I swipe, I need to insert; if I insert, I need to swipe. I’m so convinced the cashiers are thinking, “My GOD, can’t you even work a credit card? Are you stupid or something?” that now I get so stressed that I can’t read any of the stuff that’s written on or near the card reader, so then when I swipe instead of insert and it turns out there’s a HUGE sticker on the thing that says “No Swipe,” I feel EXTRA stupid and awkward so now I’m even MORE neurotic the next time I go to pay for something… It’s a horrible, horrible cycle. Also, it’s ridiculous. I shouldn’t be this damn traumatized by trying to buy a cup of coffee. Grrrr.

I am not amused


And a bonus tidbit about shopping from my fun and paranoid mind!

Items with no price marked – if I see an item I want to buy but the price isn’t marked, I have to immediately decide – am I willing to buy it no matter WHAT it costs? Because otherwise I can’t buy it, because I WILL NOT ask how much it is. I just know if I ask how much it costs, and then decide not to buy it that it makes me look like I can’t afford it … or maybe I shouldn’t even be in the store… or maybe I’m just a cheap bitch making their lives harder because they have to restock this item I have now dragged all the way up to the front of the store…

I even feel acutely uncomfortable when I’m standing in line and the person in front of me at the register is like “How much was that? Never mind, I don’t want it,” sometimes on item after item – not because they’re holding up the line, but because I am embarrassed for them. Ironically these people clearly don’t GIVE A SHIT, but I’m so neurotic about this that I’m freaked out enough for both of us. (There is NO logical to any of this, I know. Ain’t nobody got time to put this much thought into some customer they don’t even know. But welcome to my brain.)

BTW – Where’s my commission?

I feel I should point out that I’m receiving nothing in compensation for my (repeated) mention of Terrifyingly Beautiful – I just really like it and think everyone should give it a listen.

(Though, come to think of it… as many times as have already mentioned them in this blog or on Facebook – I TOTALLY deserve something. Where’s my recompense, Kevin & David??? Show a girl some love. And by love I mean cash. Or Paypal payment. I’m flexible…)

Away we go…

Thanks for Joining Me!

Hello blog, my old friend. This is my third foray into the blog world (though to be fair, my one blog had a very specific focus and “end” date, which I fulfilled, so I don’t think that one should count as against me in some way. Just saying.)  But I’m back, and this time I think, (I hope) it’s to stay!

Why Have We Gathered Here Together?

If you’ve been following me on Facebook (The Tangent Girl Volumes) or Twitter/Instagram (@tangentgrrl)… (and if not, why not?? Go. Go follow or like or whatever – do the thing!)… then you already know I’ve decided to finally make a go at the whole writing thing. I’ve wanted to do it my whole life, and whether it’s because I’m turning forty, or because I spent the better part of the last year staring into the Abyss (and worse, it started staring back), I finally just decided to get off my ass and do it. I may (likely) fall flat on my face, but I’m determined to have fun anyway. I hope you have fun too.

What’s In a Name?

I haven’t explained the whole “Tangent Girl” thing yet, and I figure – it’s time, already!

Asking me a question, or having me tell a story (well – having any kind of conversation with me actually) is a bit… time consuming. Seriously – my psychiatrist makes fun of me for it, it’s so bad.

Despite being an introvert who’s acutely uncomfortable talking with people, I can’t be concise to save my life (though, maybe it’s because I’m an anxious introvert – I cannot stop myself from providing every piece of available information even vaguely related because I’m convinced if I don’t you’ll think what I’m saying is stupid  – or think that I’m stupid… Or worse, you’ll think I’ve said something wrong, or WORSER that I’m wrong. There isn’t anything in the world I’m more afraid of than people thinking I’m wrong. Except actually being wrong. And spiders.) #myanthem

Also, I get easily distracted during conversations and often veer so far off track because I remember something related that – “oh hold on, I totally need to tell you about this”, I cannot for the life of me remember what the hell I was actually saying before heading off into the trees. (I’ve been told this is because I am hypomanic, but I call BS on that – I am far too lazy to be any kind of manic. And if it turns out that my shrink is right and I am manic, but this verbal vortex down the rabbit hole is the only way it manifests, I’ll be seriously pissed off. Where are my bouts of boundless energy and productivity?!?! I got robbed.)

Give Credit Where Credit is Due. (otherwise known as “Just in Case So You Don’t Sue Me”)

I want to thank a couple of folks for inspiring me to do this – –  and AS ALWAYS my husband, Dave, for supporting me and making me actually follow through with it.

The Bloggess

Terrifyingly Beautiful

I highly recommend going and checking out their blogs, books and podcasts (in case you care what I think)

I almost forgot!!!

Meet BETTY! Betty is my totally awesome Emotional Support Fox.

…A least she WOULD be if the State of Maryland didn’t suck…

To learn more, stay tuned for my upcoming book, “Wait, What Were We Talking About” coming out hopefully later this year!

And thanks to Nathan Anderson for the awesome photo of my darling foxy girl.