Bring on the Ray Bradbury

I’m starting to think that living in a “dystopian” Sci-Fi novel might not be so bad. You know, the one where people have to pass some kind of a test of common sense, if not intelligence, to be allow to live with the rest of us folks (or for us to have to put up with living with them). Otherwise, off to the Mars Colony with you, you freaking dimwit!!

 

Aside from the mind-numbingly unbelievable this-can’t-really-be-happening-in-2017-in-America week we’ve all already been having, today I read an article from a well-known publication asking why no one was questioning if the upcoming eclipse was a “real thing.” The writer suggests that it’s all a conspiracy by the scientists, acting under the bribe of big cash money from the corporations that own hotels along the best viewing zones and the folks who manufacture eclipse glasses.

 

Why does he think this? Because NASA won’t post the calculations they used to figure out the date/timing on their website so the writer can “check the math” himself. Clearly this MUST mean they are lying…

‘Cuz, ya know – SPACE MATH is like, easy and shit, right? Lemme get out my TI-83

 

But of course, just to COVER HIS ASS, he does say he’s not necessarily saying it isn’t going to happen, just that he doesn’t “understand” why no one is questioning it because while the scientists insist that it’s true, there are two sides to every story.

 

No, see. no. That actually ISN’T how any of this works. Because sure, there may be two sides to every story, BUT SCIENCE ISN’T A FREAKING STORY. You don’t get to make up your own version and then declare your hair-brained idea developed while you drank Pabst and watched Aliens on TLC is “just as valid” as REAL SCIENCE. Nope, sorry, uh-uh, no, NOT A THING.

PREACH, Neil!

 

At first I tried to comfort myself with the idea that this might be satire, but that makes me feel WORSE NOT BETTER. Because that means some jackass out there who KNOWS better thinks it would be funny to put this out into the world even though he knows full well THAT PEOPLE WILL BELIEVE IT. At least if he believes it himself, he’s genuine – STUPID, but genuine. If he just thinks he’s being funny – I want to dip him in honey and release him into a pit of hungry bears.

Hey, is that….. HONEY??

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