Because I Am A Geek

I was so excited (ridiculously, stupid, total SPAZ excited) this week when tuning into my favorite podcast, Terrifyingly Beautiful.

I will often comment on their Facebook page, and a few weeks ago I made some comments about how credit cards, and shopping in general, freak me out. And this week’s podcast topic? SHOPPING! While I wasn’t mentioned by name (by the way, WTF Kevin & David??), I was at least credited as “a listener” in the topic/discussion (which I guess is better than them saying my name and getting it wrong – like calling my Stephanie, which happens all the time. Or Susan.*)

(*Not that I am dissing any Susans out there. It’s a perfectly lovely name! This is TOTALLY related to my husband’s first job. I used to pick him up at work, and the owner’s mom worked the front desk. She would call back – “Dave, Susan’s here!” no matter HOW MANY TIMES I told her my name is Tiffani. Then one day, after like a year of this, one of his co-workers walked by and said, “Hey Tiffani,” and she was like “I thought your name was Susan! Why didn’t you tell me?”… … “It’s a mystery, ma’am.”)

But anyway… the credit card thing. Lemme share with you what I shared with them.

Credit card readers – what the hell? I have one of those chip cards and every freaking place seems to work differently. If I swipe, I need to insert; if I insert, I need to swipe. I’m so convinced the cashiers are thinking, “My GOD, can’t you even work a credit card? Are you stupid or something?” that now I get so stressed that I can’t read any of the stuff that’s written on or near the card reader, so then when I swipe instead of insert and it turns out there’s a HUGE sticker on the thing that says “No Swipe,” I feel EXTRA stupid and awkward so now I’m even MORE neurotic the next time I go to pay for something… It’s a horrible, horrible cycle. Also, it’s ridiculous. I shouldn’t be this damn traumatized by trying to buy a cup of coffee. Grrrr.

I am not amused


And a bonus tidbit about shopping from my fun and paranoid mind!

Items with no price marked – if I see an item I want to buy but the price isn’t marked, I have to immediately decide – am I willing to buy it no matter WHAT it costs? Because otherwise I can’t buy it, because I WILL NOT ask how much it is. I just know if I ask how much it costs, and then decide not to buy it that it makes me look like I can’t afford it … or maybe I shouldn’t even be in the store… or maybe I’m just a cheap bitch making their lives harder because they have to restock this item I have now dragged all the way up to the front of the store…

I even feel acutely uncomfortable when I’m standing in line and the person in front of me at the register is like “How much was that? Never mind, I don’t want it,” sometimes on item after item – not because they’re holding up the line, but because I am embarrassed for them. Ironically these people clearly don’t GIVE A SHIT, but I’m so neurotic about this that I’m freaked out enough for both of us. (There is NO logical to any of this, I know. Ain’t nobody got time to put this much thought into some customer they don’t even know. But welcome to my brain.)

BTW – Where’s my commission?

I feel I should point out that I’m receiving nothing in compensation for my (repeated) mention of Terrifyingly Beautiful – I just really like it and think everyone should give it a listen.

(Though, come to think of it… as many times as have already mentioned them in this blog or on Facebook – I TOTALLY deserve something. Where’s my recompense, Kevin & David??? Show a girl some love. And by love I mean cash. Or Paypal payment. I’m flexible…)

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Tiffani Panek

Wife of more than 20 years, mom, wrangler of a houseful of furbabies, and certified crazy person... Writing has always been a passion. I'm also an avid reader of everything from sci-fi/fantasy to historical accounts of creepy medical history. My first book A Home For Baby Acorn can be found on Amazon and Blurb, and my first adult venture - Wait, What Were We Talking About - will be available (hopefully) in 2018.

6 thoughts on “Because I Am A Geek

  1. Shopping via Internet is a lovely thing I have embraced for many reasons! Most groceries, too!

    But, yes, getting anything via credit card in person these days is strange. EVERY place’s machine is different. So, if (when) I get something wrong on it, or even when I do the right thing, but it comes up card read error, I sigh, look at the line built up and do it again. Yes, sometimes I have even added to my own embarrassment by adding “these things are great, when they work” or even “ugh, these are different EVERYWHERE”.

    But, I realize it’s just that, my own personal skew on things. Still doesn’t make it easier and I can be sweating and hotter than my coffee by the time the damn thing’s done.

    1. Omg! Love this blog post. You’re writing is hilarious. And you’re correct, we should offer you something for all of the PR. Any interest in a demonic teddybear? LOL. We absolutely adore you❤️

  2. Big “chip card/credit/debit” fear…..I will leave the poor thing somewhere. The “ding, ding, ding” to remove it ISN’T loud enough! A little boxing gloves should come out and smack me in the face!
    Good topic Susan❤

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